A neophyte to reading the dictionary.

milquetoast: n a person who is timid or submissive

incorrigible: adj. not able to be corrected, reformed, or informed

palpable: adj. able to be touched or felt; tangible

aviary: n. an enclosed space for birds

jettison: v. to cast overboard, get rid of as unnecessary or burdensome

picayune: adj. of little value or importance, paltry, measly; concerned with trifling matters, small-minded

...use these words and you will be a juggernaut.

what's a juggernaut?

look the wordy word up, silly.

don't be lackadaisical.

shibboleth.

Feelings of the Gut.

Last night I tossed and turned as the fate of an epic and memorable milestone awaited for me in the morning.

My license.

As if my nerves weren't wracking my senses already, my allergies were acting up, and I had a nightmare my Marcky fell in love with someone else. A blonde chick I didn't recognize who he wrapped his arms around and cradled, like he always did to me.

I woke up relieved it was just a dream, but my nerves still took control of me as I prayed and tried to mentally prepare for this test. As much as I tried to plea with Heavenly Father to help me pass this test, I had a gut feeling I wouldn't pass. It was a feeling I almost refused to feel, but of course I tried to keep my mind open to the inevitable. On the long car ride there, my new friend/ quintessential Italian grandpa driving instructor talked about his sons and daughter and grandkids. He made me feel really comfortable. "Hey! I can do this!" repeated in my mind continuously as I thought of all the wretched times Daddy made me drive home from school through Philly in traffic. A simple figure eight course seemed like it should be a breeze.

but that gut feeling of failure was still in me.

We finally arrived to the course after a long car ride of hearing Grandpa Larry's family tree and hearty, raspy laughing. We were the first ones there, meaning I would be the first one to drive the course, and everyone would watch and follow my lead. I strapped in the driver's seat, said another prayer, felt confident, and I imagined Marcus sitting in the seat next to me, encouraging me as he always does. I smiled. I started the car, put it in drive, and drove. I coasted along the course, stopped at all the stop signs, parallel parked perfectly, K turned, and drove back to the beginning. I was confident. I looked to the instructor, waiting for his commentary and the news I'd been waiting for for months, if not years.

"We're gonna have you come back, sweetheart. You forgot your blinker on your K turn, and heaven forbid you get hit by someone who doesn't see your blinker. Call us whenever you're ready for your next appointment."

A blinker kept me away from success.

A small and swift motion of my left hand. That's it.

I got out of the car, handed the keys to the next girl, and tried to keep the tears from pouring out. Grandpa Larry came and patted me on the back like he would to his own children, saying I would be okay. I think he made a joke because he started cracking up, but I was in another world.

Part of me was asking why this would happen to me, but I knew that I knew it was coming. So I did the only thing I could. I smiled.

Don't get me wrong, I'm still not happy and it's been a day full of leisure to make me feel better. I came home, watched Finding Nemo, Carina brought one of her home videos over to watch, I took a nap, and I've been reading for hours. I'm already feeling okay. I'm grateful, more than anything. Heavenly Father warned me with that gut feeling. Perhaps it was the Spirit, but all I know is that nothing else could have prepared me better than that feeling I had throughout the night and this morning. As strange it may sound, it felt good to fail. It reminded me that I need failure every once in a while, and He's testing me to see how I handle it. I could've handled it a little better, but there's always room for improvement.

And there's ALWAYS a bright side.

Besides, it's not like Marcus is wrapping his arms around an unknown babe from my dreams.

Be thou Humble

There is so much in store, I'm not quite sure what to focus on at the moment.

What is a blog, anyway?

I'm never quite sure what I should and shouldn't reveal about my personal life and thoughts. Sometimes I use it just as a gateway to better writing.

I am beyond excited for the coming school year. I can't wait to learn more about writing and what I can do to improve. I miss being able to exercise my writing skills on a regular basis. I feel like my edge has been sanded down when it should be sharp.

The school year also forces me to work on my time management, which is in desperate need. Granted, I don't have too much to manage nowadays, but the homework and activities will give me something to manage. Preparation for life on my own.

Whenever I sit down to blog, I have a topic in mind that I want to write about, but that topic diverges into a million different thoughts. Then I find myself pressing the "enter" key to start a brand new paragraph every couple sentences.

There I go again.

My heart and mind are in several different places.

Girls camp.

my bedroom.

Idaho.

Treybo.

It's extremely hard to keep my heart and mind balanced. I'm trying so hard to be good, and to choose to feel positive when the situations and people that call are making it difficult. But that's why the prayers I pray strengthen me. I need these people and these situations to be edified and strengthened. Heavenly Father loves me.

So I guess I just use my blog to vent to myself. To release thoughts and feelings into writing so I can better myself. Is that selfish?

D&C 112:10

Be thou humble, and the Lord shall lead thee by the hand.

a beautiful mess

There's a slew of things on my mind, yet there isn't. so we'll see how this blog goes.

I really didn't want to mention too much about the missionary I'm in love with in Idaho, but since I've barely done anything the past couple of days, he occupies my mind every moment it's idle. And then I hit play.

My heart ached for the first time in Rome.

Truly, irresistibly, unforgettably ached.

Strolling through the universally romantic city on the planet, I should've expected it.

My apologies to you readers who may have read my blogs and are probably sick of reading about him, but then again I'm tired of feeling guilty for wanting to talk about him.

Forgive me.

My relationship with the Savior has been particularly special lately. He's answered a myriad of my prayers, and it blows me away every time. I've become more thankful, appreciative, and contemplative about the world and what's really important.

I'm cleaning myself up little by little and in sections. My spirituality is one, my body another, and my interests, even. I feel my interests for a majority of my life have been based on what others may think, whether if they would approve or not. Sometimes it was negative, but other times it was actually a positive method. Asking myself, "what would he/she do?" and solve a problem righteously. As I've grown up [I still am] I've gathered the good things from good people and put them in a pot of righteous soup. After eating it, these good habits have become a part of me. I observe what people do and learn to apply these things to my life.

However, every once in a while there's a bad vegetable that gets in the pot of soup, and I'll partake of that too. Then it'll make me sick, and my cure varies. That's how my relationship with the Savior has been strengthened. He heals me. So does the sacrament. and friends. and mom. and dad. and brothers. and a little Chinese girl named Marielle, who sings taylor swift and preschool songs to me.

A snag visits me now and again when I feel the pain of mistakes I've made in the past. It hurts sometimes, but then I remind myself I'm not the one bringing those thought back into my life.

As much as I love my life now, I miss my childhood days terribly. I miss my brothers at home, as we would all argue with each other, but then come to each other's rescue. We were all superheroes. I miss those car rides of us laughing and teasing Mom and Dad while they were in the other car next to us on the way to a party. Now we're all grown up, and I wonder if that means we can't be superheroes the way we were. We still save each other, but since we're older we can't wear capes. I miss those capes. The trampoline is gone from our backyard like our childhood.

Mom teaches me mommy things to know in the future. Some things are easy to understand, but others are more difficult. I try my best to perform these things gracefully like a lady should, but I've discovered for most of these feats, it's like I'm picking up trash in a dress.

that's all for now, folks. keep prayin.

some natural foreshadowing.

orchids.

white and green orchids will be at my wedding.

perhaps some hydrangeas.

but definitely orchids.

love.

stay tuned..

i know i haven't written in ages.

nerdy.geeky.dorky.

there are so many different places and things to write, and although it's quarter to midnight, and I have school tomorrow, I choose to write on my blog.

Tomorrow is my last day of classes. I've been through and I've learned so much this year. Not just academically, but in my life. I had my biggest pitfall, and I'm still in the process of pulling myself out of that deep hole. but it's safe to say that my fingertips are on the brim of that hole. and I know that once I'm out of it, I'm going to keep learning more about life, myself, and academics.

by the way, i love school.

Exams and painful work aside, I absolutely love learning. and I love learning in an all girls school. I love getting my summer reading list, even if I don't finish all of the required reading. I love learning and understanding concepts that I can use in life, even if it's only one time. I love writing papers. I love learning ways to write and the history of the country and world. I love learning the roots of words and reasoning behind the meanings of English words in Latin. I feel like I'm being taken back to the Roman empire where people would enjoy someone reciting verses of Cicero at a party. Sometimes I wish that was still active today. I love having class discussions and debates in religion class. I love having my faith put to the test. I've never felt so much growth in myself in just a forty-minute class period. I love learning about the body and its functions. I love being pushed in school, to force myself to know information that will help me in the future.

as much as I love summer, I'm ready for school next fall. I'm actually excited.

Am I a dork?

if a dork is simply someone who enjoys learning in school, then...

chyeah.

very much so.

distance and time: alicia keys

"no matter how far you are

no matter how long it takes him

through distance and time

I'll be waiting."

hmph.

dreamy.

Mila

came across this little number in the archives of the computer.

this is the essay i submitted to merion as a part of my application.

the question was to describe an experience that changed my life.

..also it's been raining and storming all day. smiles to extremes.

..speaking of smiles to extremes...skyped with lj and kaylie in hong kong today.

:D

Summer of 2007 will never escape my mind. Boarding the plane from Hawaii to Tonga was not the only adventure I was in for as my family and me soared over endless blue seas to the islands of my heritage. As the miniscule plane came to a turbulent stop on a dirt runway, the humble circumstances of the Tongan islands became evident instantly. No matter how much Dad tried to prepare us kids for the cultural experiences we would have, he would never be able to foreshadow the unforgettable memory waiting for me.

Her name is Naemila. She told me to call her Mila in her broken English. Riding in the bed of a rusty pickup truck to my uncle’s tiny worn-down home, I met Mila at the doorstep as she took our bags. The next morning, I woke up to Mila motioning me to come with her to somewhere I did not know, and my parents were surprisingly excited for me to leave with someone practically a stranger. Mila and I walked for miles to beautiful beaches unknown to earth. We picked up breakfast from a cousin of hers who was climbing trees and gathering coconuts as a part of his daily routine. We walked to a beach with a colossal cave that looked out to the vast ocean and horizon. As we gazed at the skyline I realized how small I was compared to the world. Mila expressed to me how thankful she was to have a friend like me, a friend who could barely understand her English, yet know her intentions to be a daughter of God. Mila was very religious, and knew how fortunate she was to have what she did, which was very little. She and I spent everyday together as she showed me the paradise in which she lived. I learned that paradise for her was food, clothing, and a place to sleep, and obtaining happiness only took a glance at the horizon.

e ku'u morning dew

there's something about him that i simply just cant get enough of,

and frankly,

i think that "something" has turned into many things.

maybe it's the way he looks at me.

whether he's teasing, or serious.

maybe it's the way we laugh together.

or perhaps when we play piano together.

like a duet, almost.

maybe it's the way he smells good 24/7.

literally.

or maybe it's our taste in music.

the way we sing the o'jays and michael jackson

and earth, wind, and fire on car rides.

maybe it's the "good morning lana" texts i get.

i love those.

or could it be when he holds my hand?

perhaps.

i think it's a combination of all these things that just makes me crazy about him.

maybe that's the reason why i repeat his name over and over again in my mind..

just so i can smile if i'm ever feeling upset.

perhaps my memories of our dates is the reason why his name is doodled in my notebooks, complemented with a heart or two, of course.

i've become less and less bothered by the people

who tease me for this relationship..

in which are reasons i am unsure.

i think i've got it.

it's the way he treats me.

he treats me like i'm of royalty.

i feel like i don't deserve it.

and i really don't.

but he doesn't let me think that.

i try my best to be as good to him as he is to me.

and to be as good as him in general,

regardless of our relationship.

i've been holding a lot of this in, but now that we're down to a

monthly/weekly/daily

countdown until he leaves,

i feel the need to let these thoughts and feelings loose.

so here i am...unchaining these thoughts from the center of my mind

and putting them on a blog.

for everyone capable to read.

but it's all true.

he gives me more than he knows.

whether he's aware of it or not, it's true.

i promise.

Neverland Loving

I was never a Peter Pan fan, but

I think I've found Neverland.

After track practice, Bridget and I walked through an unknown park across the street from school.

We talked about relationships and parenting.

The essence and blooming of spring was captured in the few minutes we spent strolling through it.

Butterflies were floating,

trees were dancing,

grass was growing,

flowers were blooming.

Kids were laughing with Mommy and Daddy.

Dogs were kissing their owners who held slobber-drenched frisbees.

A hand-holding, elderly couple strolled by Bridget and I as we were running and said hello, smiling.

Reasonably sized, rustic homes bordered the cobblestone street with old ladies drinking tea and knitting baby clothes for granddaughters.

They look up through highly prescribed glasses and smile their cute smiles.

Young couples occupy Neverland too.

The Mrs. places one hand on her pregnant stomach, as the Mr. holds her other hand.

And they walk together.

Little girls were climbing trees, telling secrets,

as the little boy was trying to listen to them.

He steals a glance at the one with the brown curly pigtails

who gives him butterflies in his tummy, similar to the

butterflies fluttering around her.

Kites were being flown by daughters and fathers.

BoyfriendandGirlfriend

were cuddling on a blanket

looking at the clouds.

Suddenly...

drops of water.

Thin, silver streams of rain darted to the green grass.

And the little girls and boys

and their mommys and daddies

laughed

and

danced.

So it's true.

Neverland really does exist, everyone.

Bring it on home.

unworthy of facebook.

...oh spring break. you treated me so well.

boy, you so fine.

observations on a rainy afternoon.

I am surrounded by books and windows in MMA library at 4:12 in the afternoon on Tuesday. The only one in the library, my hand is still cramping from writing a myriad number of definitions. I take frequent glances to my left through the window as the rain streams down the glass panels and onto the pink blossom tree below. The girl with the colossal ribbons tied in her hair just packed up her seam-stretched lavender backpack and left the library. Just me and Mrs. Librarian Lady now. Listening to music in a foreign language makes me feel like I ought to be doing what I am doing now [writing/nothing] in another country, on a rainy afternoon such as this. I look down at my cold hands. Chipped nail polish. Smiley face drawn by my beloved lab partner. Smeared ink marks. Plumeria ring on the left; the calligraphy CTR ring on the right. I refuse to go into depth, if you can't tell. Just observing my current state of being, and frankly, I'm quite pleased. Mama calling...there's my cue.

No Importa...by Noel ? Ft. John Legend.

Iris.

and I dont want the world to see me

cause I dont think that they understand

when everythings made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

oh how i love this song.

Pualani: Flower from Heaven.

I must admit, I've been in this

loss-of-words state of mind. And

this state has carried over to

what I say.

Nothing.

I don't know what to think.

Utah and Idaho seem to occupy

a lot of that space in my mind

recently.

Due to my lack of thinking,

I've decided to let the following

pictures bring my thoughts

back to life.

Mama and I attended the

Philadelphia Flower Show.

When we were there,

I didn't speak.

But I thought...

beauty.

BUTTERFLIES.

current status:

hands won't stop shaking as I type.

So there I was.

Washing my hands in school.

When my phone vibrates in my pocket.

Dry hands.

Message received from: Marcus.

"Its here lana. Its here. And im going crazy !"

and thats when the shaking started.

one hour.

just one hour.

We'll know.

L;MIAV;RNV;AJRSI;VJAMLJGOI;RFJIOS;IFJOGLNARILUV;OROILVOI;ASLJOIRAFJLASRINVAO;ULFJNO;IAJASFKLAJSF

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

breathing.

I

am

curious

wondering

dreaming

happy

sleepy

anxious

smiling

EXCITED

trying

soothed

wishing

breathing.

inhale.

exhale.

Following.

Don't make it hard.
Make your life easy and happy.
All you have to do is
"Choose This Day."

Paying respects. With the tears.

“Comfortable” by John Mayer played on my iPod as I sat and watched. I don’t even know them. They gave their goodbyes to their beloved boy dressed in army green. It had to have been a goodbye for a very, very long time. Perhaps until the next life. I walked to my gate, and the first sight I saw was the beautiful wife being cradled by her heroic husband. Daughter on lap. Wet cheeks. Puffy eyes. Holding hands. Saying nothing.

The little girl was strikingly beautiful. She had to have been four or five years old, with dark skin, curly pigtails, and these bright green eyes, glassy from ongoing tears. I don’t know how much her parents talked about her father’s heart-wrenching departure prior to the airport, for I overheard the mother trying to explain why he may not be coming back. “But why, Mommy? Daddy, why won’t you come back?”

Daddy kissed his little girl. And cried.

Two more people showed up to say goodbye. It had to be his mother and brother. They looked just like him. The mother held his daughter, and everyone’s tears flowed.

Never was an announcement to board a plane so emotional. The employees simply reacted to the announcement by sluggishly attending their duties. Flyers reacted by trying to cut and butt in line. But there they stood. Four loved ones saying goodbye.

Brother hug brother.

Son hug mother.

Father hug daughter.

Husband hug wife.

The future holds so many questions.

Will he return home?

Will the wife fall in love again?
Will the daughter ever have another father figure?
Will the family grow stronger? Or become crippled?
Will the daughter have a father to dance with at her wedding?

With my head down, walking behind the soldier, I kept my eyes on the back of his feet, slowly putting one in front of the other. I heard him quivering as he took in a deep breath. He didn’t look back. I peeked over my shoulder to see the abandoned family at the edge of the gate. They stood as a pack

watching

Watching

Watching.

As I walked down the aisle to my seat, my heart was on fire, pounding and pumping blood through my whole body as I fast-forwarded the scene I had just witnessed in my head. My tears were on their knees begging to come streaming to my face, but I did all I could to keep them from showing. When I took my seat by the window, I glanced outside and saw the family the soldier had just left. Pressed against the glass at the gate, the daughter was waving her miniscule hands, using all of her energy to catch her dad’s attention. Her mother stood behind her, leaning forward on a chair, squinting to find her loved one in one of the airplane’s windows. It must have been easy to locate where he was because within a moment she motioned for his mother and brother. Without hesitation, the whole clan was against the glass in perfect view of their soldier. The aircraft slowly began to pull out of the gate. I could not see him or his reaction, but the women were continuously waving and wiping tears as his brother sat with his fist in the air, honoring his brother.

And I cried.

I don’t know his name.

But he’s my hero.

To the men and women fighting for our country. God bless you and your families. Forever.

untitled.

today was supposed to be dedicated to homework and papers. but for the first time in a long time, i dedicated my day to sleeping. and watching. and listening. and thinking. mostly thinking.

if this happened any other day, I might have said the day was wasted, with me doing nothing..nothing meaning i thought about zippering open the bookbag, but it just didnt happen. but today was almost like a summer day...not weather-wise, of course, rather the relaxation part. I woke up at ten and helped mom make a massive breakfast for the fam and the regulars at the house...david and bro rowley. I cut and peeled mangoes as mom and I talked. i felt like a mom, hanging out with mine. I think I may have even said some of those lame "mom" jokes. actually. no. I'd never do that.

another thought. I'm pretty sure I know what song I want to dance to with my dad at my wedding.

"Three Times A Lady"

by lionel.

lionel richie.

and another thought. i miss treybo to extremes. he was in my dream the other night. we were in utah, and i think we were at some rugby event because I just remember seeing all of his rugby teammates and buddies everywhere. and he and I played catch with the rugby ball. and he was cracking jokes with me like he always does. I actually woke up elated since I was able to remember his facial expressions and hear trey's voice and laugh so vividly. but it didn't take too long for me to start missing him again.

I've been in an extremely happy mood all day...for several reasons. One of them being the person I spoke to on the phone last night for 5 1/2 hours. marcus corbitt makes me so happy. it's funny, because there are all of these short random memories I have of seeing him or being with him or saying things to him when I was much much younger. but not until the past few months (especially summer) have I really gotten to know him. see, he's got this thing going on where he's sometimes hard to read, but what I can read from just simply being around him is how good he is. and it's easy to tell. it's also easy for me to WANT to be better when I spend time with him. I don't mean that I'm completely altering my personality and who I am for him to notice me. not at all. but I simply want to improve in different aspects, knowing I can always do and be better. and knowing that he makes me feel this way makes me realize why I love being around him so much. Our relationship is genuinely simple. we talk. we laugh. we see each other for a few days one month. and then we wait another. it's hard sometimes, but we manage. plus, to show how great of a guy he is, he's going on a mission. and he will undoubtedly be a stud missionary. so this one is to whomever will be learning the gospel from Elder Corbitt, wherever you are in the world within the next few months...consider yourself lucky. very, very lucky.

snuggle up.

next weekend can't come soon enough.

but...it's snowing!!

smiles.

Consider the Lilies.

I am far from perfect.

very.

very.

far.

but that's okay... cause though I've hidden it [my hope and need to be perfect] for way too long, I'm just realizing now that it's okay not to be perfect.

sure, i've said it close to a million times.

but I've never truly felt it the way I do now.

And I know I'll never be perfect.

I don't want to be perfect.

For the natural man, perfection is probably one of the only things in this life that is impossible. In the case of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, perfection may not be easy, but it is in their reach. That's why they're not the natural human. That's why I am. Because it's not in my reach. It's not meant to be.

The bounds I must exceed are here on earth. Perfection is held high in the sky, heaven even. It's only healthy for me to want and need to reach for it. But knowing I won't obtain it until another life isn't a good enough reason for me to give up. There's never a good reason to give up. Not even failure.

That's what I'm learning.

This is almost a milestone, for me...knowing I can handle these expectations. Yes, I've heard it, and probably said it a couple times in Sunday school, but this is the first time I've ever really felt this way, to this extent, at least.

So guess what, everybody.

I'm not perfect.

and I've never been happier.

:]

There she is...Miss America.

So I'm making a reference to a blog I wrote in the past..."fair share of scrunchies and grass stains." That equilibrium of the girly goods and bro chill factor came into play tonight. big time.

Mama and I have this, as she likes to call it, "guilty pleasure." Cutting to the chase, we watch the Miss America pageant.

every year.

for as long as I can remember.

Why she feels guilty while watching it, I'm not too sure, because she could enter the contest now and win it easily. But a reason she may feel guilty may be because she and I have a hard time understanding why mothers put their daughters into these beauty pageants at the age of four..hoping they'll become Miss America with a fake tan and perhaps even plastic surgery. And to be honest, Mom and I never even feel any different after watching these pageants. But we just enjoy watching them. It's a really odd and difficult combination to describe.

However, what made this year's Miss America pageant so entertaining was watching it with Mom AND Papa Squat. Let's just say it was a good thing Pops wasn't a judge. He was hysterically brutal with each and every contestant. His critical jabs all started during the evening gown portion of the competition. He had the highest hopes of a girl tripping and face-planting into the ground. These wishes weren't for the intent of the girl getting hurt, rather having a girl in the pageant who's clumsy and real. So in reality, he had a surprisingly really good point. Miss America usually has the connotation of being as close to perfect as possible. hence the bathing suit portion to notice her body, the talent competition for her skills, the question for her intelligence, and who knows with the evening gown portion. You could really just have the question, and then judges could probably pick a Miss America who may have never been in a pageant her whole life.

Anyway. So my dad and I joked and had all kinds of commentary the whole hour. First we wanted Miss Minnesota or Miss New Mexico to trip down the walk way, but then come up and flex at the judges. Just to show some substance in the girl. Then we wished for all kinds of talents to be presented in the competition...

Miss Kentucky to let out a huge belch while singing.

Miss Texas to play chopsticks on the piano.

Miss Hawaii to do the haka.

Miss New Jersey to give the audience a fist pump.

Miss Maryland to rap.

Miss Louisiana to do the stanky legg.

Miss Virginia to ask the host to pull her finger.

Miss Nebraska to perform the star-spangled banner.

Armpit style.

Miss South Dakota to shuck corn.

If only these talents were shown and performed. Which ever Miss so-and-so would do a performance such as any of these would have my vote. No thought.

In the end, the contestant who we all thought was the most real and down to earth thankfully ended up winning the competition. So here's to Miss Virginia, now known as Miss America.

....oh. and my Mr. Pitman just got a blog.

excitement to extremes.

!!!!!

She'll never stop.

"Growth amazes me." she says and truly believes.

It has, it does, and always will.

She has grown in ways difficult for her, herself to comprehend.

To think..she started as a an infant.

A small, hard-to-function baby

whose mind was focused on hunger.

and sleep.

and light.

She gradually grows, figuring things out for herself through minor destructions, playing with toys, and watching and mimicking the ones who surround her. She can then walk, sit, eat on her own, and probably mutter "da-da" or "ma-ma."

Then comes her childhood where she is familiar with not only her precious family, but with innocent boys and innocent girls in her preschool class. They build forts together with her Pocahantas towel and high chairs. Then it's kindergarten. Teacher gives her an A+ for coloring inside the lines, and fingerpainting a picture for mom for mother's day.

1st grade.

2nd grade.

3rd,

4th,

5th,

6th,

7th,

and it's 8th.

already.

What happened to that infant with the colossal pink bow glued to her head?

She's in high school.

still learning.

She stumbles out of bed onto her knees in the morning.

and says a prayer.

then wraps on her skirt.

brushes her teeth.

and runs out the door.

It may sound like the typical routine for any teenager trying to get through the day or high school. But this isn't your typical girl.

There is a part of her many may not see. The only one who has seen and experienced this part of her is her, herself. Every so often, she'll dive into this part of her mind where the atmosphere is tranquil and quiet. She feels at peace, listening to nothing but faint crashing waves. or water creating ripples in a lake under a cherry blossom tree. There are no demons, no distractions. Just her, fresh air, the sky, and water. There's always water.

The very thought of her diving into this part of her own soul shows her measurement of growth. When she comes to this place,

she sees opportunity.

she wants to learn.

she wants to grow.

And that's exactly what she does.

Kiss the Rain

this song is amazing. i could never get tired of it..which is a problem for the fam bam because of the solid reason of me slowly trying to learn how to play it. so far i have the first 5 measures down. after 2 days of working on it.

and even better, it's been raining all day today.

how perfect.

:]

Legend. To say the least.

Dear Mr. Legend,
I love your music. Thanks for the concert on New Year's. Sorry I arrived an hour late. How did you know to play my favorite song for the encore? I like to think you waited for me. Well, thanks again...for the incredible start to 2010. Your song "Refuge" makes me happy. So does a certain someone who came with me to the concert. I'd like you to meet my perma-grin (permanent grin) :D I wore it while you sang to us. Thanks again, Mr. Legend. Oh. And Happy New Year.

Fondly,
Lana.

P.S. In case you forgot your lyrics, feel free to take a gander at your song that is frequently found on repeat on my iPod. Not to mention a pretty legit explanation of my life right about now. K bye.


Refuge (When It's Cold Outside)

I pray for better days to come
I pray that I would see the sun
Cuz life is so burdensome
When everyday's a rainy one


But suddenly there's no more clouds
I believe without a doubt
That heaven sent an angel down
And then she turned my life around


You know and I know
Friends come and friends go
Storms rise and winds blow
But one thing I know for sure


When it's cold outside
There's no need to worry cuz
I'm so warm inside
You give me peace
When the storm's outside
Cuz we're in love I know
It'll be alright
Alright it's alright

Oooh...

Now peace is so hard to find
We're terrorized and victimized
But that's when I close my eyes
And think of you to ease my mind
You take me to another place
There's no more war (no more war)
Just love and grace
Baby you restore my faith
I know the struggle's not in vain
You know and I know
Through all the battles
Baghdad to Israel
There's one thing I know for sure


When it's cold outside
There's no need to worry cuz
I'm so warm inside
You give me peace
When the storm's outside
Cuz we're in love I know
It'll be alright
Alright it's alright


Alright it's alright
Alright it's alright
Alright it's alright


Oh...
When it's cold outside
There's no need to worry cuz
I'm so warm inside
You give me peace
When the storm's outside
Cuz we're in love I know
It'll be alright
Alright it's alright


Oh it's gonna be alright
Ooh...


Cuz you give me peace
In the middle of the storm
When it's cold you're keeping me warm
It's alrightIt's alright
I'm never gonna leave
You give me what I need
It's alright, alright