There she is...Miss America.

So I'm making a reference to a blog I wrote in the past..."fair share of scrunchies and grass stains." That equilibrium of the girly goods and bro chill factor came into play tonight. big time.

Mama and I have this, as she likes to call it, "guilty pleasure." Cutting to the chase, we watch the Miss America pageant.

every year.

for as long as I can remember.

Why she feels guilty while watching it, I'm not too sure, because she could enter the contest now and win it easily. But a reason she may feel guilty may be because she and I have a hard time understanding why mothers put their daughters into these beauty pageants at the age of four..hoping they'll become Miss America with a fake tan and perhaps even plastic surgery. And to be honest, Mom and I never even feel any different after watching these pageants. But we just enjoy watching them. It's a really odd and difficult combination to describe.

However, what made this year's Miss America pageant so entertaining was watching it with Mom AND Papa Squat. Let's just say it was a good thing Pops wasn't a judge. He was hysterically brutal with each and every contestant. His critical jabs all started during the evening gown portion of the competition. He had the highest hopes of a girl tripping and face-planting into the ground. These wishes weren't for the intent of the girl getting hurt, rather having a girl in the pageant who's clumsy and real. So in reality, he had a surprisingly really good point. Miss America usually has the connotation of being as close to perfect as possible. hence the bathing suit portion to notice her body, the talent competition for her skills, the question for her intelligence, and who knows with the evening gown portion. You could really just have the question, and then judges could probably pick a Miss America who may have never been in a pageant her whole life.

Anyway. So my dad and I joked and had all kinds of commentary the whole hour. First we wanted Miss Minnesota or Miss New Mexico to trip down the walk way, but then come up and flex at the judges. Just to show some substance in the girl. Then we wished for all kinds of talents to be presented in the competition...

Miss Kentucky to let out a huge belch while singing.

Miss Texas to play chopsticks on the piano.

Miss Hawaii to do the haka.

Miss New Jersey to give the audience a fist pump.

Miss Maryland to rap.

Miss Louisiana to do the stanky legg.

Miss Virginia to ask the host to pull her finger.

Miss Nebraska to perform the star-spangled banner.

Armpit style.

Miss South Dakota to shuck corn.

If only these talents were shown and performed. Which ever Miss so-and-so would do a performance such as any of these would have my vote. No thought.

In the end, the contestant who we all thought was the most real and down to earth thankfully ended up winning the competition. So here's to Miss Virginia, now known as Miss America.

....oh. and my Mr. Pitman just got a blog.

excitement to extremes.

!!!!!