untitled.

today was supposed to be dedicated to homework and papers. but for the first time in a long time, i dedicated my day to sleeping. and watching. and listening. and thinking. mostly thinking.

if this happened any other day, I might have said the day was wasted, with me doing nothing..nothing meaning i thought about zippering open the bookbag, but it just didnt happen. but today was almost like a summer day...not weather-wise, of course, rather the relaxation part. I woke up at ten and helped mom make a massive breakfast for the fam and the regulars at the house...david and bro rowley. I cut and peeled mangoes as mom and I talked. i felt like a mom, hanging out with mine. I think I may have even said some of those lame "mom" jokes. actually. no. I'd never do that.

another thought. I'm pretty sure I know what song I want to dance to with my dad at my wedding.

"Three Times A Lady"

by lionel.

lionel richie.

and another thought. i miss treybo to extremes. he was in my dream the other night. we were in utah, and i think we were at some rugby event because I just remember seeing all of his rugby teammates and buddies everywhere. and he and I played catch with the rugby ball. and he was cracking jokes with me like he always does. I actually woke up elated since I was able to remember his facial expressions and hear trey's voice and laugh so vividly. but it didn't take too long for me to start missing him again.

I've been in an extremely happy mood all day...for several reasons. One of them being the person I spoke to on the phone last night for 5 1/2 hours. marcus corbitt makes me so happy. it's funny, because there are all of these short random memories I have of seeing him or being with him or saying things to him when I was much much younger. but not until the past few months (especially summer) have I really gotten to know him. see, he's got this thing going on where he's sometimes hard to read, but what I can read from just simply being around him is how good he is. and it's easy to tell. it's also easy for me to WANT to be better when I spend time with him. I don't mean that I'm completely altering my personality and who I am for him to notice me. not at all. but I simply want to improve in different aspects, knowing I can always do and be better. and knowing that he makes me feel this way makes me realize why I love being around him so much. Our relationship is genuinely simple. we talk. we laugh. we see each other for a few days one month. and then we wait another. it's hard sometimes, but we manage. plus, to show how great of a guy he is, he's going on a mission. and he will undoubtedly be a stud missionary. so this one is to whomever will be learning the gospel from Elder Corbitt, wherever you are in the world within the next few months...consider yourself lucky. very, very lucky.

snuggle up.

next weekend can't come soon enough.

but...it's snowing!!

smiles.

Consider the Lilies.

I am far from perfect.

very.

very.

far.

but that's okay... cause though I've hidden it [my hope and need to be perfect] for way too long, I'm just realizing now that it's okay not to be perfect.

sure, i've said it close to a million times.

but I've never truly felt it the way I do now.

And I know I'll never be perfect.

I don't want to be perfect.

For the natural man, perfection is probably one of the only things in this life that is impossible. In the case of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, perfection may not be easy, but it is in their reach. That's why they're not the natural human. That's why I am. Because it's not in my reach. It's not meant to be.

The bounds I must exceed are here on earth. Perfection is held high in the sky, heaven even. It's only healthy for me to want and need to reach for it. But knowing I won't obtain it until another life isn't a good enough reason for me to give up. There's never a good reason to give up. Not even failure.

That's what I'm learning.

This is almost a milestone, for me...knowing I can handle these expectations. Yes, I've heard it, and probably said it a couple times in Sunday school, but this is the first time I've ever really felt this way, to this extent, at least.

So guess what, everybody.

I'm not perfect.

and I've never been happier.

:]

There she is...Miss America.

So I'm making a reference to a blog I wrote in the past..."fair share of scrunchies and grass stains." That equilibrium of the girly goods and bro chill factor came into play tonight. big time.

Mama and I have this, as she likes to call it, "guilty pleasure." Cutting to the chase, we watch the Miss America pageant.

every year.

for as long as I can remember.

Why she feels guilty while watching it, I'm not too sure, because she could enter the contest now and win it easily. But a reason she may feel guilty may be because she and I have a hard time understanding why mothers put their daughters into these beauty pageants at the age of four..hoping they'll become Miss America with a fake tan and perhaps even plastic surgery. And to be honest, Mom and I never even feel any different after watching these pageants. But we just enjoy watching them. It's a really odd and difficult combination to describe.

However, what made this year's Miss America pageant so entertaining was watching it with Mom AND Papa Squat. Let's just say it was a good thing Pops wasn't a judge. He was hysterically brutal with each and every contestant. His critical jabs all started during the evening gown portion of the competition. He had the highest hopes of a girl tripping and face-planting into the ground. These wishes weren't for the intent of the girl getting hurt, rather having a girl in the pageant who's clumsy and real. So in reality, he had a surprisingly really good point. Miss America usually has the connotation of being as close to perfect as possible. hence the bathing suit portion to notice her body, the talent competition for her skills, the question for her intelligence, and who knows with the evening gown portion. You could really just have the question, and then judges could probably pick a Miss America who may have never been in a pageant her whole life.

Anyway. So my dad and I joked and had all kinds of commentary the whole hour. First we wanted Miss Minnesota or Miss New Mexico to trip down the walk way, but then come up and flex at the judges. Just to show some substance in the girl. Then we wished for all kinds of talents to be presented in the competition...

Miss Kentucky to let out a huge belch while singing.

Miss Texas to play chopsticks on the piano.

Miss Hawaii to do the haka.

Miss New Jersey to give the audience a fist pump.

Miss Maryland to rap.

Miss Louisiana to do the stanky legg.

Miss Virginia to ask the host to pull her finger.

Miss Nebraska to perform the star-spangled banner.

Armpit style.

Miss South Dakota to shuck corn.

If only these talents were shown and performed. Which ever Miss so-and-so would do a performance such as any of these would have my vote. No thought.

In the end, the contestant who we all thought was the most real and down to earth thankfully ended up winning the competition. So here's to Miss Virginia, now known as Miss America.

....oh. and my Mr. Pitman just got a blog.

excitement to extremes.

!!!!!

She'll never stop.

"Growth amazes me." she says and truly believes.

It has, it does, and always will.

She has grown in ways difficult for her, herself to comprehend.

To think..she started as a an infant.

A small, hard-to-function baby

whose mind was focused on hunger.

and sleep.

and light.

She gradually grows, figuring things out for herself through minor destructions, playing with toys, and watching and mimicking the ones who surround her. She can then walk, sit, eat on her own, and probably mutter "da-da" or "ma-ma."

Then comes her childhood where she is familiar with not only her precious family, but with innocent boys and innocent girls in her preschool class. They build forts together with her Pocahantas towel and high chairs. Then it's kindergarten. Teacher gives her an A+ for coloring inside the lines, and fingerpainting a picture for mom for mother's day.

1st grade.

2nd grade.

3rd,

4th,

5th,

6th,

7th,

and it's 8th.

already.

What happened to that infant with the colossal pink bow glued to her head?

She's in high school.

still learning.

She stumbles out of bed onto her knees in the morning.

and says a prayer.

then wraps on her skirt.

brushes her teeth.

and runs out the door.

It may sound like the typical routine for any teenager trying to get through the day or high school. But this isn't your typical girl.

There is a part of her many may not see. The only one who has seen and experienced this part of her is her, herself. Every so often, she'll dive into this part of her mind where the atmosphere is tranquil and quiet. She feels at peace, listening to nothing but faint crashing waves. or water creating ripples in a lake under a cherry blossom tree. There are no demons, no distractions. Just her, fresh air, the sky, and water. There's always water.

The very thought of her diving into this part of her own soul shows her measurement of growth. When she comes to this place,

she sees opportunity.

she wants to learn.

she wants to grow.

And that's exactly what she does.

Kiss the Rain

this song is amazing. i could never get tired of it..which is a problem for the fam bam because of the solid reason of me slowly trying to learn how to play it. so far i have the first 5 measures down. after 2 days of working on it.

and even better, it's been raining all day today.

how perfect.

:]

Legend. To say the least.

Dear Mr. Legend,
I love your music. Thanks for the concert on New Year's. Sorry I arrived an hour late. How did you know to play my favorite song for the encore? I like to think you waited for me. Well, thanks again...for the incredible start to 2010. Your song "Refuge" makes me happy. So does a certain someone who came with me to the concert. I'd like you to meet my perma-grin (permanent grin) :D I wore it while you sang to us. Thanks again, Mr. Legend. Oh. And Happy New Year.

Fondly,
Lana.

P.S. In case you forgot your lyrics, feel free to take a gander at your song that is frequently found on repeat on my iPod. Not to mention a pretty legit explanation of my life right about now. K bye.


Refuge (When It's Cold Outside)

I pray for better days to come
I pray that I would see the sun
Cuz life is so burdensome
When everyday's a rainy one


But suddenly there's no more clouds
I believe without a doubt
That heaven sent an angel down
And then she turned my life around


You know and I know
Friends come and friends go
Storms rise and winds blow
But one thing I know for sure


When it's cold outside
There's no need to worry cuz
I'm so warm inside
You give me peace
When the storm's outside
Cuz we're in love I know
It'll be alright
Alright it's alright

Oooh...

Now peace is so hard to find
We're terrorized and victimized
But that's when I close my eyes
And think of you to ease my mind
You take me to another place
There's no more war (no more war)
Just love and grace
Baby you restore my faith
I know the struggle's not in vain
You know and I know
Through all the battles
Baghdad to Israel
There's one thing I know for sure


When it's cold outside
There's no need to worry cuz
I'm so warm inside
You give me peace
When the storm's outside
Cuz we're in love I know
It'll be alright
Alright it's alright


Alright it's alright
Alright it's alright
Alright it's alright


Oh...
When it's cold outside
There's no need to worry cuz
I'm so warm inside
You give me peace
When the storm's outside
Cuz we're in love I know
It'll be alright
Alright it's alright


Oh it's gonna be alright
Ooh...


Cuz you give me peace
In the middle of the storm
When it's cold you're keeping me warm
It's alrightIt's alright
I'm never gonna leave
You give me what I need
It's alright, alright